October 16th: shoppin' and double clubbin'

29th day

Woke around 10am, had some weird dreams about flying in a hydrofoil piloted by Stanley Kubrick, who kept landing, then relanding over and over until he got the “perfect landing.” There was also some very satisfying coitus at the end with a former lover.

Erin and I went shopping on the main drag today. Before we even set out, we stopped by the bike chap so he could fix my pedal again, which came off at his stand.

bike chap plying his trade... poorly

He monkeyed with a bolt for a bit while we engaged his kids in English. They had a kind of kiddie salon set up in the yard and one messed with the other’s pigtails.

kiddie salon at the bike chap's

They brought a book to show us and we said the English words for them.

When at last the chap fixed my pedal, I paid him 2 yuen, then we rode off, only to have the bolt come off in the next few blocks and we went back so he could put another one on. I looked for the missing bolt, but ultimately had to shrug. He put another one on and off we went.

Erin finally got some sunglasses at a mom-n-pop booth. The man’s toddler had the cutest teeth and looked like a cartoon rat when he smiled. Erin practiced her haggling skills.

Next, she bought these weird wrestling boot deals at a department store. While there, I snapped a photo of “Poserboy” shoes.

poserboy, a point of pride? or shoes for your enemy?

Isn’t that a phrase you want to sport for coolness? She also haggled five cd’s for 100 yuen, which is like $12. Take THAT, music industry!

We went into one store that had backpacks/barrettes and such. They had on club music and I asked where the other club was. One of the girls drew me a quasi-map and wrote the name in Chinese characters, pointed down the street. They wrote they would be there at 9:30. I also inquired about the glow bracelets because I wanted to make a couple “fire-spinning” chains and attach them. No one had an idea what I was talking about. I tried showing my bracelet, then my watch’s indiglow, but they just shrugged and we all laughed at the frustration of non-communication.

Erin bought some there, then we went to Ming Tien Coffee Language for some coffee and fries. We looked through magazines, discussed our mutual love of strawberries, then resumed our spree.

At the big corner department store, we tried to find a blender so we could make morning smoothies, but we weren’t sure what device was used for what purpose. It’s hard to tell.

I ended up buying a black “blur jacket” windbreaker (an XXL just fits me) for under $30, so now I can stop obsessing over it.

We stopped at a bookstore and Erin got a couple of maps.

helpful bookshop girl in full stripe regalia

I used my limited Chinese to talk to the clerk girl who was all in stripeyness. (Have I mentioned how insane the Chinese are for stripes and jogging suits here?)

We went down a side street next and I almost bought some fruit, but thanks to my new jacket, this lady must have thought I was Mr. Moneybags and tried to charge me 13 yuen for three oranges. I declined and Erin said she was pissed. Her scale did not show what she was trying to charge me, so fuck that noise.

We headed up the street, periodically asking passersby where the club was, showing them the piece of paper the girl wrote, and they kept pointing us onward.

We retrieved our bikes from in front of the CD store and rode down, visiting my dude at the electronics store to see if he had any crossfaders or some such DJ equipment. He did not.

We checked the nearby stores for glow bracelets, but these things were harder to find than Cabbage Patch Kids in 1984.

On we pedaled towards the grocery stores, and Erin spied a bike-gear stand. We stopped and I obtained a basket at last. Erin had laundry to do, so she rode back while I tried to find the elusive glow bracelets.

I went to our favorite convenient store and tried to ask them if they had any. They tried offering me a watch battery. I shook my head and again pointed to my bracelet, then my watch glowing.

They muttered something and then one girl was elected to ride and show me where to go. As we rode up to the main drag, I began dreading she was just leading me to the wristwatch hut. She was. When we got there, I thanked her and she rode off. I went into the sports/music instrument place next door and looked there, but again no dice.

I rode home to get dinner, vowing to secure the bastards after gestation. I had the brilliant idea of grabbing the bracelets I gave to Erin and showing those to illustrate exactly what I was on about. Aaron = smart!

As I rode back I felt the bolt loosening again, and I stopped every few blocks to manually tighten it.

When I got to within a hundred yards of the dorm, it popped out again. I ate, searched the pathway, found it, screwed it on as best I could, borrowed some tape from Nigel and taped the pedal on in a way that paved new highways in the realm of ghetto.

That lasted five minutes. I pushed the bike back via a skateboard kick-leg, with the sonofabitch pedal riding in my new basket.

I asked Nigel if I could borrow his and he relented under the condition that I return in a half hour because he and Chi had plans.

I rode out with the bracelets and a clear agenda. Stopping in the big grocery, I asked if they had any and I kept getting a yes and then a no. The staff would say no, then nod and point at an aisle, then shake their head again. Then just no. A group of three girls seemed to know what I was asking and offered to take me to the place I needed.

We walked, and with each block I dreaded not grabbing Nigel’s bike, for the clock was ticking. We went down past the club, then halfway down Civilized Landscape Street to a little mom-n-pop place. They showed the lady the bracelets and the lady showed them a fiber-optic duster like you get at the circus. They shook their heads and insistingly shook the bracelets. She shook her head.

The main girl said, “Sorry.”

“That’s alright,” I said and spedwalked back to Nigel’s bike emptyhanded. I stopped in a few stores on the way, but nobody had these things. I’d just have to ask Andy. He must know, and he speaks English.

I pedaled back frantically and gave Nigel his bike back.

I listened to some Love and Rockets remixes, then Secret Chiefs 3 while I wrote in my journal. Had a couple tall Suntory Light beers.

We hailed a cab from the hotel and talked dude down to 5 yuen after he kept saying 10 yuen. There was a cover (no freebies for Westerners this go ‘round) and the place was massive and packed through with people. There was no room to dance at all. Two servers fought over which table they wanted to lead us to, and we ultimately sat at one upstairs, overlooking the warehouse-like space. Dark, black lights, a little seedy. The throng of bouncing people on the dance floor spilled into the walkways and I had difficulty negotiating a path to the bathroom. In front of us, people crowded the railing and we had, whether we wanted it or not, a golden view of the men shaking their asses.

raise the roof, son! raise the ROOF!

“I’m not tryin’ to see this, Jonesy” I said.

“Look at that guy,” Erin pointed.

I nodded. “He wins the award for gayest straight man in Haimen."

ass of the gayest straight man in Haimen

Seriously. He moved his ass like it was dessert.

seconds after giving the "ok" sign, this chap is having best time of whole club.

We ordered two Tsingtao and I’ll be damned if they didn’t bring us two Budweiser. I don’t like this new trend.

this is no Tsingtao! GRAAHHHHH!

not Tsingtao, but eh, what are you gonna do?

After our beers we caught another cab to Andy’s club (once again having to talk the cabbie down to 5 yuen) and they were playing good music again, with room to dance. I taught the DJ how to “hit the rock.” I’m not sure if he understood.

By this time I had a good buzz going and I jumped onstage, grabbed the mic and busted out some rhymes over the beats. The first verse of “Bring the Noise” and “It’s Tricky.” The latter of the two the DJ had a remix of and threw it on after he recognized what I was saying. It was awesome.

Erin shouted to me, “I can’t believe this is happening!”

I ran into that short-haired server again, gave her the English name Janice. She smiled and it lit up her face. I asked Andy where to get the glow bracelets and he drew a rough map of where he suspected they might be. Great. It’s going to be trial and error tomorrow.

We got our dance on good and proper and when I took the floor, I was given a wide berth and all the attention, so I milked it and took ‘em back to ’83, scrambled, dropped into a backspin, came out of it with the centipede. Shortly after, the music stopped and the lights came up. Perfect timing.

We caught another cab, with Erin directing the guy to the school. We had to wake the security guard who was racked out with a blanket over him inside.

I inspected my back and, sure enough I had streaks of blackness from backspinning on that filthy-ass floor. I soaked it in hot water and Tide, hoped it would come out, and crashed.