November 17th: vitamin ladies and water thief
[ posted by mcdeviltoast ]
Day 61
Sleep took precedence over Chinese breakfast. At my first class a fly landed in my coffee. First, what are flies doing alive in November, and second, what would compel a fly to enter what is conceptually, the beverage equivalent of a volcano? (tubular cavern with hot killing liquid at the bottom) Perhaps it was a sacrifice, a virgin fly offered to the twin flygods Buzzy and Facewasher, sitting atop their altar of dung in a great brown stinking fly paradise, floating turds instead of clouds, static buzz in lieu of harpmusic, tears of joy in every compound eye.
The next class, (Steven's class) donated a bean paste sesame bun to Mr. Willis's stomach cause and two students went on a coffee run for me. Steven stayed to observe the lesson and translate when applicable but I think mostly he just wanted to join in the good time.
At lunch both Nigel and Rose informed me that because of a sports meeting, there would be no class Thursday or Friday. I get a five day weekend. Huzzah! Erin and I made plans to visit Nantong.
After dinner I made a supermarket run and was endearingly mobbed by the ladies working the "health and vitamin" section. They would bring up boxes nodding, I'd ask what it was, they'd point at the English, I would read it, we'd all laugh. This went on for about 15 minutes.
We spoke as much English and Chinese as we both understood, pantomimed when necessary. A lot of the products boasted of containing turtle and I tried to tell them, "I'm not trying to ingest any turtle." Sure enough,the next box would have turtle, and three species of snake. I shook my head.
One box they brought to me said, "weak physique, feeble."
I said, "Hey, this is for old man.Old man."
I pantomimed walking creakily with a cane, which they all got a kick out of.
"I am young man."
I ran in place and held my arms up in a Hulk Hogan flex. We all laughed. People had started to gather around.
"Ni hao," I waved, "Ni hao! welcome to the maygua (America) show."
A couple of the ladies muttered "maygua show," but I don't think they understood the "show" part of it. I got some multi-vitamins "for young man" and they thrust a box at me with a woman's face on the front. I read the back and it was some skin-helping elixir. They gently patted their cheeks at me.
"Oh yeah? For skin? My skin is bad?" I teased. "This is for girl! I am man!"
They laughed, insisted I take it. They were so adorable, I couldn't decline. How could you say no to a roving gang of sweet Chinese surrogate aunts?
I rode back, gave the skin stuff to Erin, played piano for a good hour, worked on the newer song (which is kind of a 60's pop verse, with a very sad power chorus) No words have leapt to mind, but they'll come in time. I was out of water, so I became the night burgalr again and slipped in through one of the junior 3 offices and made off with a full jug.
After that I decided to go to the hotel for a pizza with meat sauce since neither lunch nor dinner satiated. Erin debated coming with me, but mostly just danced in the hallway, two glasses of wine to the wind. I rode out without her, sat and ordered, began to read my book, which is still heavily into its religious section. Erin appeared moments later, grinning and winded.
It was difficult to explain that now I would have two instead of the one I had indicated before and we did indeed need a menu. A tennis match of "sorrys" played out between Erin and our server.
My pizza didn't have the green olives this time, and Erin's pizza had different ingredients again.The menu must be an abstract guideline for the food you are ordering.
Erin and I discussed books, writing classes in college, Joyce Carol Oates, William Golding, the arrival of her boyfriend in a fortnight, etc, then rode home and crashed like the stock market.
Sleep took precedence over Chinese breakfast. At my first class a fly landed in my coffee. First, what are flies doing alive in November, and second, what would compel a fly to enter what is conceptually, the beverage equivalent of a volcano? (tubular cavern with hot killing liquid at the bottom) Perhaps it was a sacrifice, a virgin fly offered to the twin flygods Buzzy and Facewasher, sitting atop their altar of dung in a great brown stinking fly paradise, floating turds instead of clouds, static buzz in lieu of harpmusic, tears of joy in every compound eye.
The next class, (Steven's class) donated a bean paste sesame bun to Mr. Willis's stomach cause and two students went on a coffee run for me. Steven stayed to observe the lesson and translate when applicable but I think mostly he just wanted to join in the good time.
At lunch both Nigel and Rose informed me that because of a sports meeting, there would be no class Thursday or Friday. I get a five day weekend. Huzzah! Erin and I made plans to visit Nantong.
After dinner I made a supermarket run and was endearingly mobbed by the ladies working the "health and vitamin" section. They would bring up boxes nodding, I'd ask what it was, they'd point at the English, I would read it, we'd all laugh. This went on for about 15 minutes.
We spoke as much English and Chinese as we both understood, pantomimed when necessary. A lot of the products boasted of containing turtle and I tried to tell them, "I'm not trying to ingest any turtle." Sure enough,the next box would have turtle, and three species of snake. I shook my head.
One box they brought to me said, "weak physique, feeble."
I said, "Hey, this is for old man.Old man."
I pantomimed walking creakily with a cane, which they all got a kick out of.
"I am young man."
I ran in place and held my arms up in a Hulk Hogan flex. We all laughed. People had started to gather around.
"Ni hao," I waved, "Ni hao! welcome to the maygua (America) show."
A couple of the ladies muttered "maygua show," but I don't think they understood the "show" part of it. I got some multi-vitamins "for young man" and they thrust a box at me with a woman's face on the front. I read the back and it was some skin-helping elixir. They gently patted their cheeks at me.
"Oh yeah? For skin? My skin is bad?" I teased. "This is for girl! I am man!"
They laughed, insisted I take it. They were so adorable, I couldn't decline. How could you say no to a roving gang of sweet Chinese surrogate aunts?
I rode back, gave the skin stuff to Erin, played piano for a good hour, worked on the newer song (which is kind of a 60's pop verse, with a very sad power chorus) No words have leapt to mind, but they'll come in time. I was out of water, so I became the night burgalr again and slipped in through one of the junior 3 offices and made off with a full jug.
After that I decided to go to the hotel for a pizza with meat sauce since neither lunch nor dinner satiated. Erin debated coming with me, but mostly just danced in the hallway, two glasses of wine to the wind. I rode out without her, sat and ordered, began to read my book, which is still heavily into its religious section. Erin appeared moments later, grinning and winded.
It was difficult to explain that now I would have two instead of the one I had indicated before and we did indeed need a menu. A tennis match of "sorrys" played out between Erin and our server.
My pizza didn't have the green olives this time, and Erin's pizza had different ingredients again.The menu must be an abstract guideline for the food you are ordering.
Erin and I discussed books, writing classes in college, Joyce Carol Oates, William Golding, the arrival of her boyfriend in a fortnight, etc, then rode home and crashed like the stock market.
---
[ posted by mcdeviltoast @ 11/17/2004 10:42:00 PM ]
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The dumbtronica act Montana & McDeviltoast, along with their friends, keep each other updated on their activities. Much fun having by all, and Pockys fear for their lives!