June 6th: name calling and water balloon revenge
[ posted by mcdeviltoast ]
Day 263
The big trend in and around Haimen right now is to burn rapeseed chaffs. The smoke blocks out the sun like nuclear winter and makes breathing a challenge. So I didn't wake up in the best of moods. I wanted to get some sun, there was none. I wanted to do laundry, but Nigel and his irritating wife were already using the machine. I wanted to listen to Jenn's radio show, but the server wouldn't allow it. Why did I even wake up?
I rode out of the school and there were hundreds and hundreds of strange students bussed in, filing through the gate. I had to wait for a break in the madness and all the while, they pointed, felt compelled to remark "Lao Wai!" Hugely inapproriate. I'd like to see them go to Over the Rhine and walk down the street, point and go "Black person!" I have no idea why their shy nature doesn't stay their tongue when it comes to this.
I endured, tried to tell myself perhaps I was the first ever foreigner they had ever seen in their life, rode off trying to get in a better frame of mind. I went to Times for laundry soap.I browsed for shorts and two worker ladies chimed "Lao Wai." I glowered at them, left their bullshit shorts section. I want to design a shirt that says in Mandarin "Don't call me lao wai!" I bought crackers and soap, left, trying not to hear anyone else say it on my way out.
As I unlocked my bike from out front a kid walked by, said "Lao wai." Not to engage me in conversation, just an out-loud identifying statement: "Tree! Car! Whitey!" I looked around pissed. "Where? Lao wai? Goddammit!" I came close to exploding. Heather and I ate cheese and crackers, hid from the world, watched a movie to take my mind off China. We watched Kill Bill (both volumes) which is rife with Asian culture.
Night fell and I got the water balloons out of my bag. We filled some in the kitchen and took them up on the roof in Heather's red basin. Jeni joined us and I genuinely enjoyed chucking them at passing bicyclists. For the first time all day I felt good. I was having revenge on China as a whole calling me "lao wai" all day. I didn't hit anyone directly, but was the master of "very near" precision. The last victims actually stopped and started looking up. Now, if you're in water balloon range,why would you linger? We silently cackled on the roof, ducked down, feeling that rush of mischief from those 5th and 6th grade school years.
After two barrages, Heather and I took a cab to Ming Tien, got pineapple pizza and company sandwich. I played piano so they'd shut off whatever god-awful shite was being piped in, but as I left the platform, it was snapped right back on. "Would a little silence kill you?" The cab back smelled like a college dorm: stale smoke and ripe socks. I couldn't roll down my window fast enough.
Sleep was achieved after the severe execution of two mosquitos, sizzling on the racquet deliciously.
The big trend in and around Haimen right now is to burn rapeseed chaffs. The smoke blocks out the sun like nuclear winter and makes breathing a challenge. So I didn't wake up in the best of moods. I wanted to get some sun, there was none. I wanted to do laundry, but Nigel and his irritating wife were already using the machine. I wanted to listen to Jenn's radio show, but the server wouldn't allow it. Why did I even wake up?
I rode out of the school and there were hundreds and hundreds of strange students bussed in, filing through the gate. I had to wait for a break in the madness and all the while, they pointed, felt compelled to remark "Lao Wai!" Hugely inapproriate. I'd like to see them go to Over the Rhine and walk down the street, point and go "Black person!" I have no idea why their shy nature doesn't stay their tongue when it comes to this.
I endured, tried to tell myself perhaps I was the first ever foreigner they had ever seen in their life, rode off trying to get in a better frame of mind. I went to Times for laundry soap.I browsed for shorts and two worker ladies chimed "Lao Wai." I glowered at them, left their bullshit shorts section. I want to design a shirt that says in Mandarin "Don't call me lao wai!" I bought crackers and soap, left, trying not to hear anyone else say it on my way out.
As I unlocked my bike from out front a kid walked by, said "Lao wai." Not to engage me in conversation, just an out-loud identifying statement: "Tree! Car! Whitey!" I looked around pissed. "Where? Lao wai? Goddammit!" I came close to exploding. Heather and I ate cheese and crackers, hid from the world, watched a movie to take my mind off China. We watched Kill Bill (both volumes) which is rife with Asian culture.
Night fell and I got the water balloons out of my bag. We filled some in the kitchen and took them up on the roof in Heather's red basin. Jeni joined us and I genuinely enjoyed chucking them at passing bicyclists. For the first time all day I felt good. I was having revenge on China as a whole calling me "lao wai" all day. I didn't hit anyone directly, but was the master of "very near" precision. The last victims actually stopped and started looking up. Now, if you're in water balloon range,why would you linger? We silently cackled on the roof, ducked down, feeling that rush of mischief from those 5th and 6th grade school years.
After two barrages, Heather and I took a cab to Ming Tien, got pineapple pizza and company sandwich. I played piano so they'd shut off whatever god-awful shite was being piped in, but as I left the platform, it was snapped right back on. "Would a little silence kill you?" The cab back smelled like a college dorm: stale smoke and ripe socks. I couldn't roll down my window fast enough.
Sleep was achieved after the severe execution of two mosquitos, sizzling on the racquet deliciously.
---
[ posted by mcdeviltoast @ 6/06/2005 11:24:00 PM ]
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The dumbtronica act Montana & McDeviltoast, along with their friends, keep each other updated on their activities. Much fun having by all, and Pockys fear for their lives!